Why do I feel as if there is a ton of stuff on my heart, but no words to express it coming from my brain? Why do I get caught up in the little things in life when I know that none of it matters? How do I teach my kids to do without wants in order to meet the needs of others?
How do I find balance when living in this culture? I feel like I am always saying no to buying things or participating in activities because of the cost. And then I feel silly for even worrying about it because I am so very blessed with everything I need and spoiled with so many things I don't need.
I start to feel like I'm doing without because I can't afford to purchase x, y, or z. But my goodness, I have a home and a bed to sleep in! I have clothes to wear! I have food to eat and safe water to drink! I have a family to love and be loved by! I can be so very, very shallow. I change my thinking and go back to being immensely thankful... and then a while later I'm thinking about me and my wants again. Ugh! "It is not about me!" I yell to myself.
How do I teach myself to do without wants in order to meet the needs of others? How do I make that lesson stick in my mind and in my heart? Why do I find myself trusting more in the paycheck that comes twice a month than in my amazing God who provides everything I need? Why do I beat myself over the head, getting nowhere, when all I want to do is serve God? He is the God of grace, the God of love.
Dear Jesus, Please help me daily to get my eyes off of me and focus on you. Please help me to see the world as you see it; to see those around me as you see them. Break my heart for what breaks yours. And when it is broken, please pick me back up, strengthen me, and direct me to do your will. Amen.