A jumble of thoughts

1.  About a year ago, I made myself a chore chart.  My goal was to complete one or two scheduled household chores each day for each two week period.  There are 52 weeks in a year.  That makes 26 chances I have had to complete all the chores on my list.  Not once have I actually succeeded in doing every chore on my list.  Perhaps I need to come to terms with the fact that my house will always be dirtier than I wish it was.  The chore I most often avoid?  Dusting.

2.  I've really been struggling lately with feelings of discouragement and a lack of energy.  It is reminding me of the depression and anxiety I have so often experienced.  But I don't want to call it that!  I don't want to go down that road again.  Life is good.  I live with a very strange mix of pure joy and nearly overwhelming discouragement.  Working in the garden and hiking with my family are my most effective forms of "therapy."

3.  Teaching my kids at home is something I never thought I would do.  I feel like homeschooling found me, and I am so glad it did!  I am extremely blessed to have this time with my kids.  Yes, there are days when I am tired and wouldn't mind a small break, but I wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything (not even hundreds of quiet days to myself).

4.  The Bible is the most amazing book!  Even after reading through it multiple times, I am constantly surprised and encouraged by the new things I find.

5.  I lived alone for a while in my early twenties.  One weekend I realized that I had been home by myself for three days and did not feel even remotely lonely or bored.  I hadn't talked to anyone, seen anyone, hadn't even watched TV or listened to the radio.  I think I can safely call myself an introvert.  The most challenging part of parenting for me has been the fact that I am never alone!

6.  The gophers and squirrels in my yard are taunting me.  I think they know I don't have the heart to harm them.  They poke their little heads out of the dirt and watch me as I work in the garden.  Maybe they are cheering me on.  "Way to go!  Keep working!  We will really enjoy eating all these great vegetables you are planting!"

That's all for now.  Maybe someday soon I will have some more coherent thoughts!