Saturday, December 10, 2011


A little perspective is a very helpful thing!

My sweet and darling 4 year old son has been "a bit" challenging as of late.  He has been throwing huge screaming fits, breaking everything in his path, pulling his curtains off the wall by hanging from them, biting us (Ouch!), throwing rocks and metal objects at his friends.  The list could go on for quite a while, but I think you get the idea.  Some days he is kind and caring, thoughtful and obedient.  And some days you'd think I had succeeded in raising a horrible monster.

My daughter did many of these same things when she was 3 and 4 years old.  Although, I never found her hanging from the curtains.  I do remember lots of biting.  I remember thinking how my daughter was way too old to be biting.  Kids should know better by that age!  I remember thinking I had seriously failed as a parent.  I remember reading piles of books on parenting and discipline.  I remember my mother-in-law telling me,  "Don't worry, they all go through this phase, but it should end around age 3 and 3/4."  Really?  There is an end in sight?  You mean I haven't failed as a parent?  Maybe there is hope for my wayward child?  Truth be told, she was no better at age 3 and 3/4; but by the time she reached 5, she seemed like a pretty decent kid.

A little perspective is a very helpful thing!

This time around I am not viewing myself as a failure.  I am not reading all the parenting books.  I don't think my son will remain a dreadful monster and grow up to be a threat to society.  I'm thinking, "This too shall pass."  I am trying to stay at a safe distance from his teeth!  I'm trying to be super consistent, patient, and calm when my son is not.  I don't always succeed in these things, but I keep trying and I keep asking God for His help.

I'll never forget the nearly sleepless nights of infancy and toddler-hood, my baby who would never take a bottle or my other baby who absolutely refused to breast feed, my baby who never napped,  my baby who wouldn't eat, the toddler who refused to be potty trained, and all the other challenges that seemed like mountains at the time.  I'm learning to remind myself, "This too shall pass."  Kids go through various stages.  Some of them are very strange stages, some of them are frightening, some of them are embarrassing.  Some of them seem to last way too long.  But eventually they end.  I've found most of them end more quickly the less I interfere.

If you are going through a tough phase with your kids, take a step back and remind yourself, "This too shall pass!"  And then, to help yourself feel even better, you can think to yourself, "At least my kid isn't biting people and hanging from the curtains like Shauna's son!"  Or maybe your kid is doing that too?  In that case, just stick with, "This too shall pass!"

1 comment:

  1. I love all your posts Shauna, but especially love this. I have seriously thought many times in the past year that my older one (you know who) is the more challenging at 4 years old than the three two year old just because of the "hanging from the curtains" moments. And I too have been injured in the heat of the moment. (Is it possible 4 year olds are having some kind of hormonal stage like teenagers do? :).
    Anyway, thanks for the reminder that it does pass. And now that she is nearing 5, she is calming down and the fits are no longer every day.
    Hang in there! You are an awesome mother! I was just talking to my mom about you this week and how much I respect, admire and love you!